WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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