Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
