SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
