So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
