White coat. Heels.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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