My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
