My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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