oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
