this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
this is an emotional support booty call
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
