A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
