So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize