Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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