you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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