google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
