She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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