Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
ok first of all what the fuck
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
