It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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