So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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