positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The Olympian is in my bed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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