you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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