I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
