I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
