Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
