I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He felt like a one man threesome
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
