I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
