i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
