it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
