She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
