Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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