My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
