i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
the liver wants what the liver wants
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
