I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
