That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
