I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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