btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
