Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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