We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
