So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
