I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
