I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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