Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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