hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
