please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
