And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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