u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
