So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
