you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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