I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
