well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
