You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
